Energy Coaching

I am back from my one month vacation in Brazil and Turkey.  It was great to see my family and friends and spend time with them. The reasons why we went to Brazil were all wonderful:  My brother-in-law’s wedding, my mother’s 70th birthday and our regular visit to our company which is always busy and fun.  All of these great moments brought a smile to our face and warmth to our hearts.

However, while we were there, I also learned that my cousin is getting a divorce, my aunt’s brother passed away on a car accident and a good friend of ours with whom we had had lunch the day we left Brazil, just had a heart attack one day after we met him and his wife.

Life is a collection of many pleasant moments and some others that challenge us.  The key to be able to enjoy the good times and to cope with the challenges is resilience.  Webster’s dictionary defines Resilience as; 1 : the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress 2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortunate or change.

The quicker we are able to bounce back from a challenging situation, the clearer we will be able to see solutions and act to change it.  The confidence that we gain from knowing that we can tackle whatever comes gives us the ability to live in the present and not worry about what the future will bring.  We are able to be fully immersed in the magic of the good times without spoiling them with thoughts like “what if this or that happens” or “it’s great but it won’t last”.

The concept of extreme self-care is the foundation of my work as a coach.  Practicing extreme self-care means taking great care of yourself even when it seems boarder line self-indulgent.  A lot of my clients struggle with the idea of making their self-care a priority.  They fear it may seem inappropriate or selfish.  I often remind them that in order to be ready to help others in a healthy way, they must be there for themselves first.

Examples on how to practice extreme self-care will always be unique to each individual.  We have different needs and priorities.  A few ideas below:

• Giving yourself permission to change your mind about a commitment you’ve made, even though it might disappoint someone.
• Asking someone to stop gossiping around you instead of tolerating it.
• Eating the best food you can afford.
• Spend more money on a great bed, nice sheets, and a great water filtering system.
• Getting a massage or a manicure, once a week instead of every other month.

It’s not always easy to put yourself first, I realize that.  It’s a good idea to have a great support system that can remind you of taking great care of yourself - a loving partner, a trusted friend, a supportive coach - people that will raise a ”self-care” flag when they see you not living up to your self-care standards.

It’s also important to be aware of early warning signals that help you recognize behaviors that spell trouble.  Let me give you some examples of what I mean.  I know I am heading for trouble when:

1.  I get less than eight hours of sleep a night.

2.  I feel irritable because I am hungry, sleepy or thirsty.

3.  I am too busy to exercise.

4.  I miss my prayer time in the morning.

5.  I feel overwhelmed and like I am not doing/being enough (whatever that means!).

6.  I don’t pet my cat when I get home.

When I begin to feel the slightest bit overwhelmed I:

1.  Ask for help.  I might call my husband, coach or a friend and talk through a problem.  I delegate more work or I might ask a specialist to step in and take care of a task I am struggling with.  The point is to remember to ask for help.

2.  Reevaluate my priorities.  I visit my Vision for my life/business, review my goals for the week/month and notice where I might be spending energy on things that are not important.

3.  Identify what I need to let go in order to focus on what’s important.  Sometimes it helps me to get physical and I would clean a drawer and look through my clothes to give away things I no longer need.  The act of letting go of the clutter helps me create a ’space’ in my head to think more clearly.

It’s crucial to recognize the warning signals that are threatening your quality of life and to have a plan of action when they show up.  First, discover what makes you feel edgy, irritable and frustrated.  What behaviors trigger this reaction?  As you notice these things write them down and create your own early warning signals list.  Finish the sentence:  I know I am headed for trouble when…

Use these signals to remind you to turn your attention to your priorities.  Once you identified your early warning signals, develop some strategies like the ones I mentioned above to support you on your journey.  Think about what resonates with you and take action whenever you feel like you start to get edgy or overwhelmed.

We don’t have a natural instinct for extreme self-care.  It’s up to us to develop routines that give us energy and joy so that we can be ready to give more to others and to contribute to make the world a better place.

With energy,

Ana

Last week I’ve heard a very touching story.  As most of you know, there was a major earthquake in the north-west province of Qinghai.  In spite of all the progress and wealth China has been accumulating, the rural areas such as this province are extremely poor.  A friend told me that she knew of  a man, a truck driver from Hong Kong, who decided to go to this province and help.  When the earthquake hit, he was there.  He went inside a school and saved a few people before he succumbed to his death when another unexpected shock hit.  The Hong Kong government offered to bury him in the official plot with all the honors of a statesman.  His family refused.  They said that they are humble and want to be all buried in the same humble place together.  Besides, what he was doing, they said, was simply what their family did for generations.  They never had much and helped those who had even less.

Now, showing off is big in this town as it is in any other money driven place in the world.  Here is a family that said no to that; they didn’t want to show off their good deeds.  To me this man was a hero.  A quiet hero who drove a truck and moved vegetables from one place to another and who was moved by the suffering of other people he didn’t even know.  He did something about it and served others to the best of his abilities.

Like him, there are many others who go about their every day lives cleaning streets, selling pizzas, handing us our coffee, teaching, and taking the time to perform extraordinary acts of kindness.  They go by unacknowledged and uncelebrated.  Not that they seek that.  They are happy knowing that someone has something to eat, shelter for the night, clothes on their back because they followed their call to be of service.

Look for the heroes around you.  Get inspired by their stories and follow their example!  Make sure you help others when you have a chance without expecting anything back; recognition, fame, whatever.  Just follow your instincts and be fully engaged in the process of being of service.  I know you can!

With energy,

Ana

There will be times when we all make mistakes.  Sometimes big ones.  There will be times when we overreact, offend someone, slip up, overlook the obvious, and so forth.  The most important question isn’t so much whether or not we will mess up, but rather how quickly we can recover when we do mess up.  We can turn a relatively minor setback or mistake into a much bigger deal by over analyzing our actions (or someone else’s).  I can so relate to that!

See your mistakes, admit to them, and move on - in other words, recover quickly.  The trick seems to be a willingness to forgive yourself - and others - for being human and for making mistakes.  By recovering more quickly, you will learn from others as well as from your mistakes, and as a result, your life will become substantially less stressful.

This week bring more forgiveness into your life.  Firstly by forgiving yourself and then by forgiving others.  We all learn and grow precisely by making mistakes.  Learn to recognize that in your life and in the lives of others around you.

With energy,

Ana

Today I received some really sad news.  My personal trainer died a few days ago.  Death is part of life and as such it is to be expected.  However, when it comes so suddenly, it reminds us how fragile and how brief our life really is.  It’s hard to think that a healthy, muscular and well liked person can die so unexpectedly.

Hearing the news of Luis’ passing made me think about how quick life passes us by and how much time we spend on such trivial pursuits such as trying to be the best at this or that; measuring ourselves and others by our bank accounts, clothes, cars and so on; hating whatever and whoever; feeling entitled, arrogant and judgemental; not paying attention to our words and actions and simply doing what we feel like doing with no regard for others; just to mention a few.

We cannot afford to keep on this path!  There are so many more important things to concentrate our energy on such as working on our spiritual elevation and acting on our collective mission to make the world a better place.  We simply have no time for negative and self-centered behavior.  Our time on this planet is limited and we have a choice to follow our higher call or to remain in the meaningless act of inflating our ego and fighting the urge to give the best of ourselves to the world and to others because of our fears.

We all have our moments of weakness and of egocentrism, nevertheless, the awareness that we want to do better will bring us back to the path of Light.  The awareness of our fragility and of the imminence of death will bring us back to the path of Light as well.  It is one of life’s major paradoxes that the remembrance of death will bring us back to life.

May you reach for the Light all the days of your life!

With energy,

Ana

This entry is dedicated to the memory of Luis Vieira Martins, a big guy with the heart of a little boy.  Thanks for sharing your knowledge with so many of us and for bringing health to our lives.