Energy Coaching

Consider the definition Webster’s presents for the word “But”:  Without, lacking, with the exception of, barring, only, merely, outside. 

Now, let’s consider the definition of the word “And”:  Used as a function word to indicate CONNECTION or ADDITION.

The use of these two simple words can completely (almost magically) change the meaning of our sentences, our relationships and the way we listen to others. 

When we choose to use “But”, we imediately invalidate the previous affirmation that came up in the conversation.  A classic example is when we start sentences with “yes, but…” - which only negates everything the person just told us.  When they were talking, we were planning our comeback and not active listening to what they were really saying.  

When we choose to say “yes, and…” we connect what the person is saying with our opinion making room for an open conversation where the opinions of both parties have an equal importance. 

The key here is CONNECTION.  Humans seek connection; with one another, with the Divine Essence, with other creatures (think a cute kitten, or a puppy), with nature; only to name some of the most important ones.  Making connections is our natural state of being.  In the case in point, one word naturally connects while the other separates.  There is certainly room for a few “buts” in our lives, however, the “ands” can be used more often than we think and yield extremely powerful results.  

Try this week to introduce a few more “ands” to your interactions.  The formula is simple; instead of a “but” say an “and” during the course of a conversation.  Pay attention to the way people respond to you and the direction the conversation takes.  Notice how the drama is suddenly removed from the dialogue and how your listening skills improve.  

I would love to hear your impressions!  Feel free to report them back to me!

With energy,

Ana