Energy Coaching

I notice that being genuinely commited to the growth of a profession, the betterment of the world, the development of the collective, brings us a sense of inner peace and humility. The focus becomes the “We” as opposed to the “Me”, and that’s when our ego naturally takes a back seat. The more commited we are with the growth of the collective, the less compelled we are to prove ourselves to others. That’s when it’s easier to feel peaceful inside.

It takes an enormous amount of energy to be focused on our ego, to be constantly pointing out our accomplishments, bragging, or trying to convince others of our worth. Ironically, the less we care about seeking approval, the more approval we seem to get. People are drawn to those with a quiet, inner confidence, people who don’t need to make themselves look good, be right all the time, or steal the glory. Most people love a person who shares from her heart and not from her ego.

The way to develop true humility is practice. The next time you have the opportunity to brag, resist the temptation. Give the floor to the other or better yet, to the collective. Invite others to talk about their lives and be willing to listen to their stories. Notice how many lessons you can learn from listening to what others have to say. Be truly curious just like a child. You will notice the immediate inner feedback in the way of calm, easy feelings.

Wishing you a peaceful week!

With energy,

Ana

This is a very special time for me.  The High Holy Days is a time for us Jews to make a conscious decision to be in sync with G-d’s will for us.  We do that by regreting our transgressions in the past year, choosing to change our ways and committing ourselves to use our gifts to fulfill our mission in this planet.  We reflect on the year past and rethink our choices, decide what we want to keep in our lives and what we want to let go.

The beginning of the year is called Rosh HaShanah and after that there is a period of ten days filled with intensive soul searching until we get to Yom Kippur, the day of atonement.  During this period we are called to repent, rethink and make different life choices.  We can do that during this time because there is a great deal of clarity coming to the world.  On Yom Kippur we confess to G-d all of our transgressions with the realization that they too can contribute to His plan for us.  We realize that even our transgressions are for our betterment and for us to learn crucial lessons that can propel us to a higher level of consciousness.  When we humble ourselves and recognize our mistakes, we use their darkness to inject light in our lives and learn from them. 

I look forward to Yom Kippur every year.  It is a day where we fast for 25 hours in order to connect to our spiritual side.  By doing that we are able to immerse ourselves in the all-embracing oneness of G-d and emerge pure.  On that day, the light of peace and possibility shines into the world, and we can see ourselves and our actions from G-d’s perspective.  In that light, even our transgressions of the past become blessings for the future, the darkness now serves to enhance the light, and the ugly conflicts now increase the splendor and beauty of the love and the conneciton we share with G-d. 

On Yom Kippur we celebrate forgiveness.  We are given an opportunity to start anew and to cherish the new found possibilities ahead of us.  It’s a time filled with potential and new beginnings.  Our call is to act on them and make them happen through our choices.  

The lesson for all of us, Jews and non-Jews alike, is that there is always a possibility for renewal and to start again once we commit ourselves to it.  May we all have a sweet and peaceful year ahead of us filled with blessings!

Shanah Tovah Umetukah!

With energy,

Ana

Recently I had the honor to be a witness in my best friend’s wedding in Australia.  While a big change was taking place in her life, the feeling of joy was the most present emotion.  They were both elated that they were taking this new step together.  It was refreshing to be there to see it.

A life change such as marriage, having a child or changing careers can be a difficult step to take.  However, most often than not, people are usually happier once they change something that no longer works for them or when they take a risk and experience a joyful return on their investment.

Enrich your life by taking on changes and challenges.  Like a surfer riding a wave, trust your sense of balance and open your awareness to the world around you.  Aim to be daring but not rash.  Marvel in the momentum of your journey, no matter what your final destination.  You will experience real growth if you take the leap.  Remember that a river is never still even and if it encounters rocks on its way, it circumvents them and looks for the path of least resistance.  Such model works for us humans as well.  Try it!

Embrace change!

With energy,

Ana

This post is dedicated to my friend’s Milena and Daniel.  May their life together be filled with joy and happiness!

As a coach, I have the privilege to witness not only the growth of my clients but my own as well.  As they move forward and achieve a goal they set for themselves, I cannot help but feel inspired and joyful for their success.  I experienced that a couple times this past week.  I felt a surge of encouragement as they shared their successes with me and a feeling of being aligned with my mission as I see them aligned with their own.

When I witness someone’s success, their joy spills over to me and to humanity.  Everything seems to be brighter and achieavable.  Their joy is also my joy!  The world seems to be moving forward to a better place all because someone experienced achievement.  Because of their aligment with their purpose, they shifted the energy of the whole world to a higher place.  What a contribution to humanity that is! 

The sense of contribution is a powerful inspiration to all of us.  When we feel that we contributed, our soul feels at home.  After all, that’s our collective mission as humans – to contribute to make the world a better place.  In order to contribute, we need to know our gifts and find our purpose.  We need to live a meaningful life.  I will be talking about that on September 1st at the Jewish Community Center here in Hong Kong.  If you are in the area, you are welcome to come.  I would love to see you!  Call the JCC @ 2801-5440 and reserve your place.

This week remember to share your joy with others and experience theirs as your own!  

With energy,

Ana

The title of my first event in Hong Kong this past week was “Learning To Say NO With Dignity and Grace.”  I am grateful for the support I received and to see how timely this topic is.  I shared a few points and we also had a group coaching discussion around it.  We came up with some very interesting conclusions.  The question ”Why we have a difficult time saying NO” opened our discussion.  Some of the answers and our conclusions were:

1.  “Saying NO might end or limit the flow of opportunities coming into our lives.” – It’s actually the reverse!  You will be maintaining the space for the right opportunities and relationships to come into your life.

2.  “We want to be loved and accepted.” – Women in particular have a need to be liked and to please others.  This is a cultural phenomenon; Women are raised to be good and men are raised to be right.  That explains why it’s harder for women to say NO and for men to ask for directions!  They suppose to know already!

3.  “If we say NO who else is going to do it?  The task will never be done if we ourselves don’t do it.” – That’s actually an inflation of our ego.  Someone will get the job done and it will happen if it’s meant to happen.  We are not the only ones that can make it happen.

Now, let’s imagine that we are now living our lives saying NO with grace and easiness.  How would that look like?  Maybe you will have more time, will feel more aligned with your own truth, will become more empowered and have more energy to help others when you actually want to do it.  Guess what might happen?  You will help others much more often!  You will have energy and time to be of service without straining your life and your dreams.

In order to help the participants achieve that, I shared a few tools with them.  I am doing the same here so you can benefit from them as well and start saying NO immediately.

The X-treme Tool: Go to the opposite extreme for a week and say NO to every offer or request.  If you change your mind later, you can always go back and say yes, but the first response is NO – “No, and thanks for asking.”  Even extremely successful people have difficulty with this tool, but it breaks the yes habit.  You begin to see that the world will not come to an end if you say NO.  Your friend’s won’t leave you and will still love you.

The Buying Time Tool:  If the first one is too radical for you, try the Buying Time Tool and say: “Thanks for the invitation; may I think about it and let you know later/tomorrow?”  Often, it is difficult to determine on the spot weather you want to do something and our initial response is usually to please the other person which produces a “yes” when we you really mean “NO”.  If you give yourself sometime to think about it, you can call back the next day and accept, decline or counteroffer.

The Broken Record Tool:  This is an idea from Manuel J. Smith’s book, When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.  No matter how the other person responds you just keep repeating your statement in a neutral, low key tone.  For example, “Oh, but we really need you and you did such a good job last year.” And you simply respond, “Thank You.  I was glad to help last year, however I must decline this year.”   

Saying NO is a muscle that needs developing.  In order to develop anything it requires repetition.  It will take time and commitment to develop the NO muscle.  The dividends however, will be worthwhile.  The other thing about saying NO is that you don’t have to tell a lie, justify yourself or volunteer information.  Most people will respect that.  If someone keeps pressing, you can simply say; “I am not interested in working on that project.”  Or, “I am working on other projects this time.”  

I encourage you to start using the tools right now.  Experience the results of your actions and feel empowered by saying NO with dignity and grace!  The results of your actions will inspire you to keep extending your boundaries and give yourself room to develop your gifts so that you can share them with the world!  I believe we all have unique gifts and talents that we can use to make this world a better place.  Go out there and let them shine!

With energy,

Ana