Energy Coaching

The concept of extreme self-care is the foundation of my work as a coach.  Practicing extreme self-care means taking great care of yourself even when it seems boarder line self-indulgent.  A lot of my clients struggle with the idea of making their self-care a priority.  They fear it may seem inappropriate or selfish.  I often remind them that in order to be ready to help others in a healthy way, they must be there for themselves first.

Examples on how to practice extreme self-care will always be unique to each individual.  We have different needs and priorities.  A few ideas below:

• Giving yourself permission to change your mind about a commitment you’ve made, even though it might disappoint someone.
• Asking someone to stop gossiping around you instead of tolerating it.
• Eating the best food you can afford.
• Spend more money on a great bed, nice sheets, and a great water filtering system.
• Getting a massage or a manicure, once a week instead of every other month.

It’s not always easy to put yourself first, I realize that.  It’s a good idea to have a great support system that can remind you of taking great care of yourself - a loving partner, a trusted friend, a supportive coach - people that will raise a ”self-care” flag when they see you not living up to your self-care standards.

It’s also important to be aware of early warning signals that help you recognize behaviors that spell trouble.  Let me give you some examples of what I mean.  I know I am heading for trouble when:

1.  I get less than eight hours of sleep a night.

2.  I feel irritable because I am hungry, sleepy or thirsty.

3.  I am too busy to exercise.

4.  I miss my prayer time in the morning.

5.  I feel overwhelmed and like I am not doing/being enough (whatever that means!).

6.  I don’t pet my cat when I get home.

When I begin to feel the slightest bit overwhelmed I:

1.  Ask for help.  I might call my husband, coach or a friend and talk through a problem.  I delegate more work or I might ask a specialist to step in and take care of a task I am struggling with.  The point is to remember to ask for help.

2.  Reevaluate my priorities.  I visit my Vision for my life/business, review my goals for the week/month and notice where I might be spending energy on things that are not important.

3.  Identify what I need to let go in order to focus on what’s important.  Sometimes it helps me to get physical and I would clean a drawer and look through my clothes to give away things I no longer need.  The act of letting go of the clutter helps me create a ’space’ in my head to think more clearly.

It’s crucial to recognize the warning signals that are threatening your quality of life and to have a plan of action when they show up.  First, discover what makes you feel edgy, irritable and frustrated.  What behaviors trigger this reaction?  As you notice these things write them down and create your own early warning signals list.  Finish the sentence:  I know I am headed for trouble when…

Use these signals to remind you to turn your attention to your priorities.  Once you identified your early warning signals, develop some strategies like the ones I mentioned above to support you on your journey.  Think about what resonates with you and take action whenever you feel like you start to get edgy or overwhelmed.

We don’t have a natural instinct for extreme self-care.  It’s up to us to develop routines that give us energy and joy so that we can be ready to give more to others and to contribute to make the world a better place.

With energy,

Ana

Vacations open us to a whole new world.  They give us inspiration, peace, health, knowledge, freedom, calm, new perspectives; in short, they give our life back!

While on vacation recently, my husband and me were calmly sitting having dinner and we could only smile at each other.  We spent a long time staring at the sky in silence enjoying the breeze and being in the moment.

The other important point is that vacations give us the renewal we need.  A lot of people forget that they need to recharge in order to perform well.  There is an illusion that we can do it all and that we don’t need to take a break.  If we look at how high levels athletes behave, we will see that they train hard to give their best performance and always include renewal as part of their training.  They eat well, get plenty of rest, take their vitamins, have plenty of support from their coaches and therapists - and then perform their best.  Then, they have an off- season in order to rest.

If high levels athletes take breaks in order to be the best they can be, we can all learn from them and do the same in our lives.

Ask yourself:  How are you living your life today?  Are you taking breaks and finding renewal in activities that bring you joy?  Are you eating well, getting the necessary sleeping time, exercising and playing?  If not, take a few minutes to find some creative ways to include breaks and renewal times in your life.  Write them down and see where you can fit them in the 24 hours we all have at our disposal.

I know you will perform like a champion if you begin to act like one!

With energy,

Ana

My dear friend Pamela is my guest writer today.  She blogged about her extremely liberating experience of quitting her  9-5 job.  It’s inspiring to read her insights and how she found her path once she let go of the old.  Congrats Pamela and thanks for allowing me to share this with our readers!

Some of us think that we are obligated to work 9-5 as a measure of our success in society. That programming is difficult to ignore and the material goods that accompany a steady pay check are enticing.

Some of us just are not cut out for that lifestyle. We try to conform to the system. We do our job knowing that we are not part of that system and here is the result: We spend most of our waking hours with people we would not normally associate with. Maybe there are some co-workers we strongly dislike yet we are forced into a small, crowded office with them. We get caught in office politics that we do not care about, with people we don’t like, for a job that may be meaningless in the greater scheme of things. We come home tired, angry, frustrated, stressed.

Our true vocation is on hold. There is no energy left after the 9-5 brain drain. We wake up in the middle of the night agonizing over a stupid power play from the office (Why are these people in our bed?). Morning comes and we are already stressed. The night’s sleep didn’t erase the daily grind. Now we have to rush to get ready for work, walk the dog, drink the coffee, drive to the office, find parking, clock in, and face the music again. The weekend comes and it is run to the grocery store, the dry cleaners, rush through basic housekeeping chores, rush, rush, rush. If you have kids, the rushing becomes exponentially more insane. Multiply your daily to-dos by 1,000.

This was my life for 6 years. I sidestepped a life of creativity and spirituality, my two most important values, so I could pay bills. It seemed like the easy way out. I was tired of hustling my talents to make a living. So I bought into the 9-5. My boss was a micromanaging freak with a huge chip on her shoulder. Three years of hell and I landed a job in the arts at a very progressive place promising growth, opportunity, camaraderie, and enjoyment ! What a concept! A 9-5 that is a fun place to work…until it is not.

The economy shifted, the balance of power shifted, and with it came a truckload of stress. And then my body started to react. Everything I put up with at work I swallowed whole and my body was not happy. My stomach hurt. My teeth hurt. I had bags and circles under my eyes. Acupuncture helped but…without changing the situation that was causing the bodily ailments, the discomfort continued. I eat organics, take vitamins, practice Reiki, do Pilates and shun medications but my poor little body was bombarded with negativity and couldn’t process it. No wonder so many Americans succumb to the myriad of medications promoted so heavily in the media. And no wonder they are so overweight. They drown their misery in chemically laden, over processed factory food, which compounds the stress imbalance of 9-5.

I ask you – can  you simplify your life? Slow down? Reconnect to your values?

I did. I left my job to rediscover my true self, so I could reinvent my future. The first week I was home I found myself caught in the habit of rushing. I forgot how to do anything at a leisurely pace. I had to retrain myself to enjoy the process of whatever it was I was doing and to be grateful for everything. Everything is a gift! Then I began to engage in things that bring me pleasure: cooking delicious food, sharing a meal with family and friends, decorating for the holidays, baking cookies, gardening, long walks with my dog. Best of all, after weeks of reconnecting to my soul, I reconnected to my inner artist and got back into my studio. I am a weaver. I need to weave, to create with fabric, yarn and threads. It keeps me grounded, balanced, connected to a higher power and appreciative of my talents as god-given gifts. I go in my studio and create something every day and ask myself – “why am I making this?” And the answer is always “because I can!” Sometimes “because I can” is enough. Who else do I know who is doing what I do? No one. I’m it. And that makes me feel good. I’m it. I’m here to share my talents – gifts from the universe, given to me, to create things that can be given to others, to bring joy. If I can’t bring joy into this world then what am I here for? Certainly not the 9-5 grind. Did that bring me joy? At first I thought it did and I learned a lot (rationalizations here) but I did it bring joy? No. It did not. Did I sell my soul to the 9-5?

So now I have been home for three months. My body has normalized. I have slowed down. I give thanks every day for all that I have. I am using Ana’s coaching/visualization techniques to reinvent myself, to create my future. I am more focused on doing Reiki and meditating. With no expectations. I give back to society. I create. Coincidences keep occurring. And opportunities are presenting. I must be doing something right!

Thanks, Ana, for your friendship and your moral support and for your excellence in coaching me to my new reality.

Namaste,

Pamela

Most ALL of us use procrastination at some time in our lives, do we not? It seems to me if a tool is so widely used, there must be something to it. As a coach, procrastination is almost always the first thing my clients want to eliminate from their lives. As you will read, I advise them not to eliminate the very tool that is there to help them navigate the rough spots in life and business.

I prefer to think of procrastination in the same category as a detour in the road. The purpose of a detour is to give us a warning, help us avoid something dangerous and provides a safer route. Detours usually take a little longer, they circumvent the problem, but in the end we arrive at our destination safe and sound. In most cases you will discover that properly employed procrastination, like a detour, will give you an alternate route to the solution of the problem at hand.

Talane Meidaner, in her book, Coach Yourself to Success poses this question: “What if procrastination was a good thing, and we stopped beating ourselves up about it and learned why we do it?” She describes several circumstances in which people find themselves procrastinating and offers solutions to the problem.

The Put Off: We Put off something we do not like doing. Sometimes if we procrastinate long enough it causes another person to do it for us, sometimes it becomes too late to do it and we end up not having to do it at all. What if instead, we looked at what it was we were putting off, determined it was something distasteful to us and immediately found a way to delegate it to another person? There may even be times when it makes sense to decline to do the task. In this instance it would be important to inform any people that may be depending upon us for the result or task, but in the end they are better served if we decide and inform them as soon as we know so they can get the job completed by someone that will probably do a more complete job anyway. And our reward is: the uncomfortable or distasteful task is off our plate and the energy drain caused by its presence is eliminated.

The Fear Factor: Sometimes we find ourselves procrastinating because we are frightened. We may believe we are not capable of completing the task. We may believe we do not have the knowledge or expertise to complete the project. We may believe we do not have anything of value to contribute. We may be frightened of rejection. The project may feel too big to us and we allow ourselves to become overwhelmed with its scope and not able to move ahead with the process. Fear is a real emotion and one to be heeded. But the possibility exists, to examine the fears and discover the energy behind them.

• If lack of knowledge or expertise is the fear, we can find ways to gather the knowledge we need or find experts in the particular field to support our work. We may need to request more time for research, but we can move ahead and complete the project.

• If the fear is that of not adding value, or being rejected: we can review our strengths, research, brainstorm and discover a method of adding value that may also eliminate the potential for rejection.

Once we can name the fear, we can often find a solution to its source and eliminate it.

There are many reasons why we procrastinate. The above examples are just a few. Think about times when you get stuck or are overwhelmed and procrastinating. What are some of your reasons?

In most cases you will discover that properly employed procrastination, like a detour, will give you an alternate route to the solution of the problem at hand. You can shorten the detour or speed up the process if you treat your procrastination as a tool that can help you through life rather than beating yourself up and wasting time in self-chastisement.

You can learn to use the five steps to using procrastination as a tool for life.

• First: Recognize when you are in procrastination mode. Speak out loud and call it by name!

• Second: Congratulate yourself for using so valuable a life tool!

• Third: Take the time to stop, think and look at why you are procrastinating.

• Fourth: take each why and discover solutions to those issues. Once you discover the why, and there may be multiple whys, it is much easier to break the problem into smaller parts and approach each issue.

• Fifth: Create a strategy and timetable to carry it out.

Coach’s challenge:  This week begin to look at procrastination in this more positive light. You will discover that it immediately becomes a friend, not a foe and the energy around it relaxes. Go a step further and begin to employ the five steps to using procrastination as a tool for life.

With energy,

Ana

I am preparing for an event this coming Tuesday.  Needless to say I am doing the best I can and making sure that all basis are covered by the time I am ready to deliver the talk.  In the middle of my preparation my computer started to act up on me.  I noticed the tension creeping up to my shoulders.  I could feel the contraction and the anger starting to show their ugly heads. 

I stopped everything I was doing, turned off the computer and went to the kitchen to do the dishes.  I began to imagine how absurd the situation was if I started to get angry with anything related to this awesome opportunity I was given to share my message with others.  I was preparing myself to give my best to others and I didn’t want any negativity to be part of this preparation!  I reminded myself that nothing is exclusively because of my efforts.  I was planing and creating something for my future as if I was  the one with a major saying on what’s going to happen then!  I reminded myself that I am but a partner with G-d in this journey that is life.  And I know that when I forget to recognize that I become a bit pathetic in thinking that I am totally responsible for my future.  Not to mention that is such an unnecessary weight to carry! 

It is very healthy to recognize that there are major aspects of our existence that are not our responsibility to know about.  As for my struggle with the computer, after finishing the “dishes-meditation” and getting back to my desk, I turned it on and it was working nicely again…

When facing an unpleasant situation this week, before you get exasperated, try removing yourself from it if you can.  Take a break, breath and give it up to the Infinite One.  Remember that you have a partner that has your best interest in mind at all times!

With energy,

Ana